Sunday, August 23, 2009

Emotional Sustainability: Promoting Open Communication to Resolve Conflicts

There are three truths: my truth, your truth, and the truth. -Chinese Proverb

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

-Nelson Mandela

Context

I began my research for our ideal school with a few questions in mind, namely: How can we promote student health through open communication? How will we challenge our students and faculty to engage in dialogue? How might we promote conflict resolution in our larger efforts to sustain students’ emotional health? Familiar with a variety of conflict resolution models at the elementary, middle, and secondary level, I hoped to broaden my perspective and also to reach out to experienced educators to gain their perspectives.

Resources

What I found was broad in scope, including books arguing to “let teachers be teachers—not social workers and ‘happiness counsellors’ (Guldberg, 2009, p.147), numerous sites selling prepackaged character curriculum, and several open-source, child friendly guides to conflict resolution. Scanning each of these resources, I was most impressed by those sites that directed educators to reflect on their own context, to engage their respective communities of students and teachers, and to create an organic and flexible framework.

Teaching Tolerance provides an excellent worksheet for teachers, called, “The ABCs of Culturally Responsive Conflict Resolution,” which included questions for reflective practice. They also offered an annotated bibliography including books and films of which Open minds to Equality: A Sourcebook of Learning Activities to Affirm Diversity and Promote Equity published by Rethinking Schools Ltd and Let’s get Real produced by Women’s Educational Media were most engaging and instructive.

Discussion

In seeking out resources, I found myself complicating my original pursuit for effective models of conflict resolution, but ultimately appreciating that establishing common language and school culture around conflict resolution is one small piece of a larger effort to shape students’ experience of a learning community “where teachers and young people strive to create fair relationships and equitable structures enables them to envision what a just society could be” (Schniedewind and Davidson, p. 2). My research confirmed my belief that attention should be given to these goals and that conflict that arises can be a great opportunity for teachable moments that increase students' sense of personal accountability (Campbell, 2003, p.150). Our intentionality as educators can assist in developing a common vocabulary and understanding of the process and thus improve their chances of addressing differences productively (Campbell, p.150). As we talk about creating the ideal elementary school environment, we should consider how to best communicate our vision to our students through our actions. One example we can turn to of a program that actualizes a related mission through its work is the Mosaic Project.

The Mosaic Project, with singer/song writer, Brett Dennen has a vision of creating "a microcosm of the diverse, inclusive, just world we want to see and show [their] young students that peace is possible. Using song, the Mosaic Project introduces children to ways to express their feelings and work through challenges. Over the course of several verses of one song, "Fighting is Not the Solution," Dennen (2003) clearly lays out the process of conflict resolution, he sings,

Stop cool off and take a deep breath, when you get angry, don’t lose your head. Tell each other the way you feel, don’t scream, don’t shout. Use your words, not your fists to work it out. Listen to each other find out what you both need. Stand in each other’s shoes. Practice a little empathy. Make a plan that you both like and go for it. No problem gets solved by fighting over it.

Though his words are a script of sorts, they hold both weight and importance. Dennen describes how to go about making “I statements” while children chime in with their personal examples. The song itself is a great teaching tool, but this simple model can be replicated easily as long as students are familiar with the language of its steps. While teaching at public school in San Francisco, I witnessed the principal prompting two teary kindergarten students to use “I messages” to share how they were feeling. The students proceeded to express their struggles and reconciled their concerns. I believe that this is an important first step. One of my sixth grade students expressed appreciation for “I statements” explaining that the framework gave her a place to start. Karen Campbell cites research showing that young people tend to “shed the formal scaffold as they internalize the resolution process and begin using their advanced communication skills in classroom-based working relationships (2003, p.150).” She references Vgotsky’s notions of Zone of Proximal Development and how structure may serve as a useful support for students as they develop their communication skills (p.149). A more concrete example of what this might look like is included in a short informational video provided Edutopia whose aim is to showcase "What works in education." This video showcases elementary students at a public school in Brooklyn and their “Peace Helpers” Project.

While all classrooms may not need formal procedures to resolve conflicts, it seems that establishing common language and safe, direct dialogic exchanges can only help students as they navigate school and life outside of the classroom. At our ideal school we will want to be proactive, understanding “by neglecting to provide needed leadership and instruction for coping with conflict, school-based educators may be unwittingly reinforcing dysfunctional and oppressive peer relations (Campbell, 2003, p.150).

An educator friend of mine teaches at an affluent boarding school serving sons and daughters of New York City professionals in the Hudson River Valley. He reports theft at school as a top concern and source of conflict despite the school’s disciplinary committee’s tendency to “hand down sentences.” He describes, “Everyone gets nervous. The innocent get angry. The students either know or suspect the offender. Tension rises. There are announcements...and on and on.” (J.Bradley, personal communication, August 19, 2009). He also expressed the limitations of school policy,“[Resolution] either comes or doesn't, but always causes a ruckus of faculty alarm and lecturing, student accusation, and the drama of someone coming forward or not. The school makes this into a widespread moral issue reflecting the health of the school and its maintenance of values. It is, in short, the talk of the town, whether or not that comes to much” (personal communication, August 19, 2009).

Another friend of mine, an educator in the Gulf Coast, wrote to me about his experiences with conflict teaching at a vastly different school in the Mississippi Delta, almost exclusively African American yet in a town that is 50% white and strictly segregated. He notes that,

Many situations are ignored or avoided altogether. Nobody wants accountability or responsibility. Many adults say one thing and do another. Many blatantly lie, and often to themselves as much as one another. Few conflicts are ever really resolved. [They are only] put off, ignored, and redirected perhaps.

(D. Doyle, personal communication, August 22, 2009). Doyle describes his attempt to construct an alternative system, “In my case, I tried to make my classroom my world. I developed relationships with my students built on mutual trust, respect and genuine concern. They knew I cared, which made them care more. I’m not saying there was never any conflict, but it was rare” (personal communication, August 22, 2009).

To suggest that the introduction of a conflict resolution program could remedy these problems that manifest at a high school level would be naïve and simplistic. Offering a critical perspective, Campbell categorizes some “modest initiatives” as “too superficial to mitigate the social complexities of modern school communities,” arguing that they are “not sensitive to factors of gender, race, culture, and class” that may be recognized as root causes of school conflicts (2003, p.153). However, both of the above stories highlight the need for thoughtful, school wide understanding. While our ideal school will not be similar in terms of location or demographics, we will no doubt have issues that arise. We will hope for our teachers to make their classrooms their worlds as suggested above, but we also want to make sure we provide a safe scaffolding and solid framework to support teachers and students on a school level.

I will conclude with the following recommendations acknowledging that they are simply a foundation for moving forward.

Recommendations

To further the end of sustaining healthy relationships at our ideal school, I recommend we:

· Do what we can to actualize Sniedewind and Davidson's (2006) vision of school as a place “where teachers and young people strive to create fair relationships and equitable structures enables them to envision what a just society could be.”

· Seek the input of all school community members and create an original statement of Community Values that reflect student concerns and voice.

· Promote attentive listening and dialogue with the inclusion of flexible, yet shared conflict resolution vocabulary and framework.

· Dedicate time to introducing, practicing, and reflecting upon basic conflict resolution to ensure all students have concrete tools to use when working through a problem.

· Carefully organize, record, and evaluate our efforts at the classroom and school wide level while providing faculty and staff with questions for reflective practice.

"Emotional Sustainability" content was written by Erin Blanchard.

References

Campbell, K. (2003). The Efficacy of Conflict-Mediation Training in Elementary Schools. The Educational Forum 67(4): 148-155.

Dennen, B. (2003). Fighting is Not the Solution [Recorded by The Mosaic Project featuring Brett Dennen]. On Children’s Songs for Peace and a Better World [Compact Disc]. Oakland, CA: The Mosaic Project. Video retrieved from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPCo24dzVYw&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Emosaicproject%2Eorg%2Fvideos&feature=player_embedded

Precita Eyes Muralists. (2008). Peace 'n Frisco. Image retrieved from: http://www.precitaeyes.org/youthmurals.html

Schniedewind, N. and E. Davidson. (2006). Opening Minds to Equality: A Sourcebook of Learning Activities to Affirm Diversity and Promote Equity. Milwaukee: Rethinking Schools.

The Mosaic Project. Mission Statement. Retreived from: http://www.mosaicproject.org/

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